He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
why is half of my head shaved?
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