I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
