On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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