I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Someone came in the potted fern
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
