Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
