nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
