Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
