Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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