that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize