your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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