Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
