just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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