If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
