Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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