i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
