you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
