I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
