Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
