I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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