I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
