HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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