You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
