That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
