id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
