Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
