chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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