I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
