You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
