I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
