omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
