is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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