I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
