For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
