how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
