Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
