yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
