I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
