Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
