her vagine was all disorganized.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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