so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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