pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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