just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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