I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
