Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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