Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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