I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
