R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
