I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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