i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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