never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
