It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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