When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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