Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can Purell be used as lube?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
