Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
