I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize