i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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