If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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