Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did I show you my penis last night?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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