Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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