I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize