i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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