So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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