I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
whose parrot is this?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
