I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
