I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
