He uses pillows to masturbate.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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