pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My vagina is officially offended.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize