she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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