It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
