I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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