That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
