on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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