Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
